Doctor Funk

Older versions carry a dash and it is the oldest part of the recipe, older than the rum. Without it you have a decent rum highball. With a quarter-teaspoon stirred in, or a rinse of the glass, you get the aniseed edge that made the drink's reputation. Pernod or Herbsaint if absinthe feels like a commitment.

Soda goes in last and gets one gentle lift with a bar spoon, nothing more. Stirring it like a cocktail knocks the gas out in seconds. Chill the soda and the glass beforehand too, since bubbles hold far better in something already cold.

No, but weight helps. Demerara brings burnt sugar and Jamaican brings ester and funk, and either one survives contact with soda better than a soft Spanish-style rum, which tends to vanish once you've added 60 ml of carbonated water on top of it.

Because it is a highball wearing tiki clothes. There is no orgeat, no falernum and no stack of rums to emulsify, just spirit, citrus, syrup and soda, which is a Collins structure. Shaking it would only cost you the fizz. The glass is the mixing vessel here, and that is the whole reason it takes thirty seconds to make.

A classic Doctor Funk calls for 60 ml (2 oz) Dark rum, 15 ml (0.5 oz) Fresh lime juice, 8 ml (0.25 oz) Grenadine, 1 dash absinthe Absinthe, 60 ml (2 oz) Soda water. That single-serve spec scales cleanly — the recipe above converts it to oz and multiplies it for 2–4 drinks.

A standard Doctor Funk is roughly 17% ABV once mixed (before ice melt softens it further). That makes it about as strong as a glass of wine.

Serve a Doctor Funk in a highball (tall) glass, over fresh ice cubes.